The Quality of Mercy
by April29Roses
Summary: This story is set in the beginning of Uther's Purge. Having saved the life of young Prince Arthur, the healer Alice has been named on the list for execution. Despite her anger, in the face of injustice, she resolves to grant the Prince a measure of mercy.
1. Sigil

_I do not own Merlin. I apologize in advance for any errors, in this story that I may have overlooked._

CHAPTER ONE: SIGIL

A message arrived in the dark of night, waking Alice from her sleep. Rousing at the furtive scratching at her door, she cracked the door open cautiously. A youth in a dark cloak clumsily thrust the paper at her, turning away before she could even ask what was happening. The feeling of doom that had arisen as she opened the door, grew deeper. In the uneven candlelight, she recognized her own name, written in Gaius' hand. As her fingers touched the seal that closed the message, she realized it was imprinted with the sigil of the dead Queen, Ygraine. It was a hawk in flight.

Her eyes sparked gold as the sigil's mark found it's way into her magical consciousness. Gaius was speaking through the spell on the sigil, his voice both familiar and filled with anxiety. Their magic bridged the distance between them, as if he stood next to her. "Come at once, my love. Prince Arthur is gravely ill. I would not ask this if I could think of another way, but the child is growing weaker."

There was more beyond the magical content of the message. On the paper, Gaius had simply written, 'postern gate- midnight'.

Her heart sank further. Something terrible must be affecting the young Prince. In the two years since Ygraine's death, the life of the Prince had been Gaius' reason for remaining with Uther. As the Purge began, Gaius had striven to walk the fine line between loyal physician and sorcerer, knowing that if he remained close to Arthur, he might prevent the young heir from being corrupted by the unending vendetta against magic, unleashed by the King's broken heart. Only she understood how Gaius strove, but could never succeed, in hiding the deep affection he bore for his half-orphaned charge. Knowing the danger inherent in a healer of her kind entering the castle, she knew her lover must have been desperate to ask for her help.

She had entered the castle through the postern gate as instructed in the letter, quietly cloaked in gray and carrying a basket of herbs. The physician had been there to greet her. Gaius' eyes were dark with worry, but lit up as he caught his first glimpse of her. As he folded her into his embrace, she felt the sudden trembling of unshed tears shake him. He took a deep breath, as if her embrace was like air, flooding into his burning lungs.

"Prince Arthur is very ill," he said softly, hardly daring to look at her. "It was nothing unusual, a typical catarrh. But his fever has not abated and it seems like pneumonia has settled in firmly. Alice…. " Here his voice broke and his arms tightened around her. Unspoken fear swirled around them.

"The King?"

The physician sighed.

"Uther sees the tyranny of magic everywhere. He believes Arthur's illness is caused by enchantment." His voice sank lower in tone, sadness in every line of his face. "Since I told him of the gravity of Arthur's condition, he has been pacing and raging in the Great Hall. He may start arresting people by the morning."

He paused, letting his fingers trail across her cheek tenderly, as he gazed at her. His voice sank to a tone of bitterness that was unfamiliar to her.

"But he will not come see his only son. He has only seen Arthur a handful of times, since he was born …" He stopped himself, not wanting to say more. He took the basket of herbs from her hand gently and led her into the castle. It had only been two years since Ygraine died, but the Purge had begun only recently, after the death of Tristan DuBois. The halls of Camelot were an echoing ghost of what they had once had been. The tension was palpable. The power of Uther's grief and rage had changed Camelot.

As they moved quietly through the corridors, the occasional servant swept by them, eyes averted, once they realized it was Gaius who guided her through the keep. To her surprise, one of the kitchen workers, her long dark braid touched with silver, timidly reached out to gently touch Alice's cloak as they passed by.

"Bless you, my lady, " the woman whispered. "Please save our little Prince," she added, looking around her, as if she half expected someone to seize her at any moment. "He's all the hope we got since the Queen died."

Alice's heart grew cold, and she shivered as she followed Gaius through the dark corridors. As they entered the royal nursery, the young woman who was the wet nurse looked up at them. Tears stained her face. She cuddled the young Prince Arthur in her arms, but the little boy was pale and limp.

"He's worse, Gaius. I can't get him to take anything. He wakes a bit when I put him to the breast, and he tries to nurse, but he's can't. He hasn't enough strength."

She raised the child to kiss his brow, almost shyly, her affection for the young Prince plain in her sweet voice.

"Come now, wake up, Arthur, you lazy daisy. Open your eyes, my bonny boy, come on." She gently tapped on the toddler's cheek." He stirred slightly at the sound of her voice, his eyelids trembling for a moment. Alice could see the child was working for every breath. His lips twitched as if to nurse but he was suddenly seized by a paroxysm of coughing, his diaphragm visibly working as he choked and gasped for air. His little fists flailed, his legs kicked weakly. By Gaius' instruction, the Prince was not wrapped in blankets as his fever was dangerously high. As his coughing became worse, he vomited. A trail of thick mucous slipped down his chest and into his smallclothes.

The wet nurse and Gaius worked to position and clean him, trying to make him more comfortable until, at last, his breathing eased a little. The toddler lay quiet, in his nurse's arms once more; his mouth was half open, his perfectly shaped lips, pale and cracked from his unrelenting fever.

"Come on, my sweet boy," whispered the wet nurse as she began to rock him tenderly, her fingers caressing strands of his hair as she spoke. "It's me, Joanna,..." Her voice drifted into heartfelt incomprehensible murmurings, as Gaius and Alice looked at each other for a long moment.

"Let me examine him," she said softly to Joanna. The girl nodded, looking at her with hope as she settled the child on the healer's lap. He was burning with fever. His pale golden lashes lay lightly along the curve of his cheek. She felt his diaper, but it was no dampness from urine.

The nurse spoke up before Alice could ask anything.

"He hasn't been making water, my lady."

That was a bad sign. Alice could hear the boy's inhalation stridor without even nearing his chest. There was a blush of blue tainting his fingernails. His pulse was fast, his heartbeat weak. Worse and worse.

She knew it was pointless to ask what Gaius had tried to help the boy. He would have tried everything he knew by now.

As she looked up at Gaius, she used her magical voice to communicate her assessment. Gaius closed his eyes in despair. She had only reinforced his own dire assessment of the condition of the little Prince.

"I must strengthen the decoction that I brought," she sent to Gaius, who only nodded imperceptibly.

"Joanna," she said in a steady tone, ignoring the emotions that roiled around the heir of Camelot. "I will need the coldest, cleanest spring water you can obtain. Hurry, child! There is little time."

The young woman almost bolted from the room.

"I will be using an extraction of lungwort and elecampane," she said quietly to her lover. Her hand dipped into her basket of herbs, bringing out a vial with a thick greenish brown liquid and a jar containing the decoction of the named herbs. "Oil of oregano," she stated before Gaius could inquire. Her eyes flared gold for a long moment, as she poured the oregano oil into the prepared medication that she had brought with her. She chanted the spell that would strengthen the decoction. Gaius eyes flared gold as well, as they repeated the spell. Golden motes swirled around the jar, the liquid sparking and glimmering with their twined magic.

"You must teach me the spell," whispered Gaius, and she smiled for a moment, because she knew he had already memorized it.

Alice looked down at the ailing toddler. His fair skin was now ash pale, his hair disheveled as it lolled against her knee.

Alice had never met the Queen, the beautiful, ill-fated Ygraine. But she was familiar with the deep regret in Gaius' voice whenever he spoke of her. It told her volumes about the grace and hope that had been lost with her death. Of course, Alice had glimpsed the Queen from afar, as she stood next to Uther during public events. It was clear, even to her unfamiliar eye that Prince Arthur's resemblance to his mother was unmistakable. The very thought tugged at her heart in a way she could not truly explain.

Joanna rushed into the room, closing the door quietly, despite her agitation. Alice smiled at the girl as she took the water from her hand and poured a portion of it into the now ordinary looking medicine.

They positioned the young Prince more upright, cuddled securely in Joanna's arms, as Alice used a dropper to administer the medicine. Alice gently carded her hand through the Arthur's pale, golden-white hair and smiled up at Gaius.

"We must have hope," she said steadily.

Joanna nodded, as tears fell from her eyes. She took her charge's small hand in her own, as he lay quiescent, propped up on pillows to ease his breathing. Steam coiled from a pot nearby, strong with the scent of eucalyptus and rosemary. The firelight made shadows and sparks in the dim light.

"Arthur is all the hope we have," the girl whispered.

The thought echoed in Alice's heart throughout the remainder of the night and the hours until dawn, were long.


	2. Hidden

CHAPTER 2

HIDDEN

In the days that followed, Alice remained hidden in a small chamber to the rear of Gaius' suite of rooms. It was small, with just enough room for a pallet of blankets on the floor. There was a window that looked down into the castle courtyard below. As the afternoon sank into golden light, she could hear the sweet voice of Joanna, the wet nurse, and the high pitched squealing laughter of her charge as they played in the courtyard.

The little Prince had recovered quickly with the help of Alice's potion and the spell that strengthened it. After a long sleep, the toddler had awoken ready to eat, and had gained back his strength quickly. No one would have guessed that the child playing in the courtyard below, had been at death's door only three days before.

Sick of hiding in the room, she whispered a spell to obscure her presence at the window. Who would notice a shadow in a window, she told herself. Gaius would warn her of the foolishness of such an action, knowing that an invisibility spell required a substantial amount of energy, but she was sick of the long hours of hiding. She needed a breath of air.

Gaius assured her, he could smuggle her out tonight, but she sighed as she turned her thoughts from the farewell that must inevitably come. It was growing more and more dangerous to remain in Camelot, plying her trade of healer, as news of her cures would flood into the market gossip. The morning of Arthur's recovery, the King had ordered an entire family rounded up and sentenced to banishment, for having been neighbors of an executed sorcerer.

As she mused on these dark tidings, she noted with delight that her invisibility spell had reached full power and her outline was only a faint shadow. She was safe! She moved to the window and looked down.

The Prince and his nurse were still at play. Arthur was standing in front of Joanna, his back to her and his hand held high, as if he brandished a sword at an imaginary foe, that threatened them both.

"It me," he crowed in his biggest toddler voice. "Prince Arthur!" Alice burst into an impromptu giggle that she quickly hushed.

"Go' way, bad dragon!" He looked back at Joanna, his little face wreathed in a fierce smile. "Look, Joanna! I win!"

As Arthur struck at the air, swinging his arms about furiously in an obvious imitation of the knights he adored, the maid laughed with delight, only to have her diminutive defender look back at her with an expression of disgust.

"No laughing!"

Even Alice, invisible at the window, instinctively schooled her face into a more serious mein as the small boy continued his imaginary battle. At last, he thrust his hand downward in a mighty stroke and ran back to Joanna, throwing himself into her arms with an abandon, that only came with complete trust. He kissed her cheek and waved his imaginary sword once more, as if in victory.

"See me win, Joanna?" he queried. The girl hugged him tight as she stood up.

"Yes, I did, my Prince. And I'm sure you will win many such battles when you are king like your father!"

Alice was struck by the blinding smile of delight that shone in the features of the little boy. He gave a shout of joy, his white gold hair shining in the slanting sun. He nuzzled his face into the neck of his wet nurse and gave her another hug. He cuddled into her embrace, laying his head on her shoulder as if he was suddenly tired, and Joanna began to amble towards one of the doorways, softly singing and swaying just a bit as she walked.

To her surprise, Alice noted that Gaius had been privy to the action of the maid and Arthur. She had not seen him standing in the shadows. King Uther was standing next to him, even deeper in the shadows of the covered entrance. There was a look on the King's face that did not bode well, and there was a stillness about Gaius that she knew brought no good news.

The doom that had gripped her heart as the message that had summoned her, suddenly returned. She stepped away from the window, doubly glad of her spell, and sank down on the bed. She closed her eyes in fatigue for a moment, when she heard the door to the outer chamber open. There were heavy footsteps, along with Gaius' lighter tread.

"Something must be done, Gaius!"

Fear gripped Alice even deeper and she held her breath, shrinking into the shadows of her hiding place. It was the King.

"How will we ever win against this plague of magic?" There was a note of despair in the angry voice she had identified as Uther's.

"It confronts me at every turn. It stole my wife. It almost stole my son."

"I have told you, Sire, Prince Arthur's illness did not come of magic. It was a virulent lung infection, and I have seen many children with this illness."

It came on too suddenly," said the King in a lower tone, almost as if he spoke to himself. "I still remember…" Here the King cut himself off, "I know it in my heart, Gaius."

"The child is well now, Sire, as you saw yourself."

"Yes," he said with a spark of pride. "My Arthur is a born fighter! He is a handsome lad, is he not?" She could feel Gaius' indulgent smile.

After a beat, the King continued. "And it's high time, he left his wet nurse.

"Sire, his second birthday was only three months ago…."

The King interrupted in such a tone of anger that Alice pressed deeper into the darkness.

"You need not remind me of that day! I know exactly how old the Prince is. It was the day I fought his uncle. "

"I merely was trying to tell you my lord, that Prince Arthur is still quite young."

"Time for him to grow up, then." Uther paced again. "Let him have a servant to tend to his needs in the nursery and I will see to it, that he spends more time among my knights and begins his education. Even you can see the boy was born to the sword, a true warrior. If Arthur is to be King after me, he will need to be strong. Best to teach him to be a man now and dispense with the nursemaid."

"He is a bright boy, Sire, but he will take to instruction better when he is closer to three or perhaps, four. He needs a bit more time to grow up."

The King paused and Alice took a breath.

"He will be King after me, Gaius! I must make him into a ruler who can hold Camelot against the constant evil tide of magic that threatens us. Do you think that magic will disappear from the land when I am gone?" There was no answer.

" It will attack anew, and with a renewed fury. Arthur must be ready to defeat it. Let him begin his training now."

There was silence again, but her heart sank as she heard Gaius answer.

"Yes, Sire."

There was defeat in her lover's voice, and she wondered, as she had many times before, how he could bear to stay by the side of this King.

Uther was evidently pacing, his booted feet ringing on the stones of the floor. She could see his moving shadow beneath the door. The nearness of her danger paralyzed her. Uther paused.

"You blame me for refusing to see my son." The monarch's voice was soft. "But you could never understand!" Here Uther paused as if he could not find the words. His voice was harsh when he spoke again." No king can build a kingdom without the surety of an heir. I needed a son for Camelot! But I never bargained the price that was paid. Ygraine…How could I know that his birth would bring me such grief and such joy? He is everything Ygraine and I dreamed he would be! He is the miracle we hoped for, and yet…"

The kings footsteps took him away from the door and towards the fire. Alice leaned forward, mesmerized by the scene she heard unfolding.

"And yet, when I look at him, Gaius," said Uther. He took a sudden breath. "When I look at him I remember, and I cannot bear it. " His voice was rough with tears. "He has her eyes, her coloring! Everything about him reminds me of the price we paid for his life. There are days I cannot bear the pain of looking at him, at everything that I lost , everything that might have been…" His voice trailed off and the King got up and began to pace again. "Magic killed her."

"You were warned of the cost," the physician said quietly.

"Nimueh and her lies! Speaking in riddles and half-truths until no one could see the truth of it. She tricked my Ygraine. She lied to me!"

Gaius murmured something, but Alice could not concentrate on the words. In such close proximity, and in a state of such high emotion, she glimpsed her lover's unguarded thoughts and they shocked her. She could not deny the image she caught from Gaius. The Queen had known the price of Arthur's getting. She paid the price willingly.

In her glimpse of Gaius' memory, Ygraine was standing by a window, her face turned towards the physician. The knowledge of her sacrifice was clear in the proud set of her head, and in every line of her body, for she bore herself like a warrior. It was in her incandescent smile as she caressed her pregnant belly. It was in the tears that stained her face. Gaius' heart still wept for the gallant, tender Ygraine. Only Uther had been blind to her sacrifice.

There was a heavy silence between the two men.

"Arthur must never know," the king said at last. "He must be kept safe from the taint of magic. He must never know the price of his birth, nor should he know the heritage of magic that runs in his veins from his mother's family." He hardly paused as he continued. "He will be a king over a land free of sorcery." His footsteps echoed a bit as he advanced upon the physician. There was a palpable threat in his tone, as he hissed his final words. "You may remain in Camelot, as I promised you, but I hold you to your oath, Gaius."

The king spun and left, the door closing with a huge bang as she heard her lover exhale. She edged open the door.

"Alice," he said, immeasurable sorrow in his eyes.

Her heart was silent, for in his eyes she saw pain and separation and longing. She knew somehow that all their dreams of a life together were ended, as they gazed at each other. She ran to him, folding herself tight against his chest. His arm tightened around her and for just one moment, she pretended she was safe. He spoke in a hoarse whisper.

"Your name is on the list for execution."


	3. Tears

CHAPTER THREE: TEARS

LATER THAT SAME NIGHT

Alice had wept until she had no more tears. She could not let her mind cast back to the terrible moment. She tried to stop herself. It burned in her heart, destroying her dreams as surely as any pyre. The terrible moment would live always in her heart. The moment Gaius had explained that he had expunged her name from the list for execution and that she had to flee Camelot. Dully, her heart understood her new reality. There seemed to be no course of action that would bring back her dreams of a happy life with Gaius.

She knew enough to understand that he would not leave Camelot. There were those of their people who still might need Gaius' aid in the increasingly intolerant atmosphere of Camelot. He would try to save their lives, just as he had saved hers. And he would never leave the young Prince. Nor could she blame him. Gaius would need to be a voice of reason in the Arthur's life, when so much around him would be wildly venomous with Uther's revenge against magic.

She wanted to be angry. She wanted to rail against fate and scream her indignation and terror to the night skies. But it would do no good.

She wanted to lie down and give up. There was little hope against the poison of Uther's vengeance. Even now, the poor souls he had rounded up earlier today, had been marched of their death out in the forest. She did not want to think of their fate. But she could do nothing else. Tears stung her eyes.

She wondered what would become of her. At least she had a skill that would gain her a way to make a living, she told herself. Her thoughts steadied. Yes, There was a way through this terror if she could find it. There was a path to a different life, whatever it might be. Thanks to Gaius who had stricken her name from the list, giving her a few days reprieve. It was almost fortunate that she had been hidden inside the castle itself when the list first came out. How could she deny that Gaius might save others like herself, others with magic, from the fate of Uther's pyres.

Feeling like an old woman, she removed the kettle from it's hook by the fire place and poured the water over the leaves of her tea. There was a timid knock at the door, and she scurried back to the room at the rear of Gaius' chambers. She hid herself in the darkness, holding her breath.

The door creaked open and a light footstep entered.

"Gaius," called a sweet voice. "Gaius?"

It was Joanna, the wet nurse, and her young charge.

She was so slender, she still looked like a girl, thought Alice. Joanna held the little boy's hand, but as she glanced about, she knelt down next to him. She told him, he was allowed to look. The nursemaid pointed to her eyes, and then to his, in imitation of a soldier's gesture and Arthur smiled, and nodded. He ran to a table and began to inspect the bottles, clearly fascinated by the colors and the strange shapes. He stared owlishly at an alembic set over a heating torch of some kind. He kept his hands behind him, tightly clasped.

Alice came forward out of the shadow.

"He isn't here," said Alice gently, hoping she would not startle the girl. The little prince looked up at her, quickly loosing interest in the bottles and coming over to gaze up at her in curiosity. The physician within her, noted that she had never seen the Prince while he was healthy. His eyes were the color of a summer sky. She smiled back, even on this sad day.

Joanna immediately curtsied, "My Lady!" She bowed her head. "I did not know you were still here," the girl said impulsively. "Look at our boy!" She gestured at Arthur, who smiled up at them both. The girl bent down and swung him up into her arms , so that Alice could see him more clearly. The nursemaid and the child gave each other a quick, mutual hug. Arthur smiled at Alice, even as he held on to a lock of Joanna's hair, as she spoke to him.

"Hello, Arthur."

" Hullo, m'lady," returned Arthur with a studied air. Joanna gave the boy a thumb's up and he smiled again. He gave his hand to Alice with a royal air, and she was charmed.

"I must speak with you, my lady. If you would give me a moment with Arthur, please!" She curtsied again, and moved with the boy still on her hip, to a out of the way nook, where she took out a box of tattered dirty pages and parts of books, ruined beyond repair, along with some wooden blocks. These she placed on the floor in front of Arthur, and told him that these were his to play with, reminding him that everything else was only for looking. He gestured to his eyes, again as if he was a little soldier, and smiled as he tore a page out of the ruined book, holding it up for Joanna to see. He was busily pulling at the books and pieces of paper when the girl returned to speak softly with the healer.

"He loves to pretend he is a knight already." The girl looked softly at the little boy at play. "He saw the knights using hand signals and now he only pays attention if I address him as one of the knights." She smiled sadly.

"I've been sacked my lady, " she went on, stoutly. She was clearly trying not to cry. " I wanted to tell Gaius to keep looking in on Arthur. A few times a day if he can. Some one needs to make sure he eats and gets dressed. He likes to be lazy in the morning. I don't know what kind of servant they will assign to my little prince. He's far too young, I mean… l… that's… that's why I must go." She took a shaky breath, "Arthur's got to grow up into a Prince and he needs to be among men. His time of being an infant is over."

She looked over at the toddler who was busily playing with the book, and looking at the smeared writings and pictures. After a moment, he started to build a tower of paper and books instead and kicked it over. The papers flew and the blocks scattered. He laughed as it fell, a sweet little peal of mischief and happiness. He began the process over again.

"He needs time to be a little boy," she cried suddenly and buried her face in her apron, trying to cry silently, but unable to contain herself any longer. Alice put an arm around her. Her sadness was so palpable, that Arthur left his papers and blocks and came over and cozied himself up to Joanna. He leaned against her, wrapping his arm around her leg.

"S'alright," said Arthur softly to Joanna, in a babyish attempt at comfort. The girl laughed through her tears. "S'alright," he said again.

She ruffled his pale hair, looking down at the boy with so much love that Alice felt doubly sorry for her.

"Soon, I must go too," said Alice.

"I have no where to go," said Joanna softly. " When my bairn died and I came here to nurse the Prince, my husband moved on, away from here. "Said he had no more need of me, nor I, of him." She paused. "He shouldn't hear this kind of talk, my lady," said the girl looking down at the little boy. She gave him an impulsive hug and he let go of her leg. She led him back to his pile of blocks and papers.

"Go play, Arthur," she said, giving the boy a kiss. He rambled away, content that all was better, reassured by her tone. "I should have said, your Highness," she said, looking back to the healer. "I was told not to use his given Christian name any more. I am only a servant."

"Perhaps we should travel together," suggested Alice, distracting the girl from her tears, with a more practical possibility. "If you are willing to brave the danger…"

Her voice held a question and the young woman looked up at her. There was a subtle comprehension in her eyes as she inferred what the healer meant. There had been gossip of her powers already. Alice nodded and her eyes glowed gold. Arthur turned from his play immediately and looked at them both, in sudden fascination. He ran towards them, his little face clearly intrigued by what he had seen.

"You saved Ar-, I mean, his Highness' life the other night my lady," responded Joanna. "I trust you and know you could never mean any harm." As she spoke, she touched Alice's forearm. The young Prince was back at his nursemaid's side, looking curiously at Alice. He tugged at her skirt.

The healer looked forward then into the immeasurable fan of possibilities and glimpsed Joanna, crowned in flowers and laughing. Soon, a wedding, a different life. She smiled at the girl. This, she kept to herself. Now to assuage the nursemaid's parting from Arthur. If only there was a way to ease her parting from Gaius, she thought. The emptiness in her heart returned.

"Before I leave," said Alice, finding some small comfort in a small gesture of kindness. "You must let me bless Arthur, in private. Learning to be a Prince will be difficult for such a young child." The girl smiled through her tears, because Arthur was cuddled up to her again. The child patted her shoulder in a comforting manner.

"Thank you, my lady." Joanna lowered her eyes in relief and happiness, blinking away the sweetest of tears this time, as she ruffled Arthur's hair. She kissed the crown of his head. "Thank you!"


	4. Blessing

CHAPTER FOUR

BLESSING

 _A/N Thank you very much to all of you who have been reading, following or commenting on my story! I hope the conclusion of this gentle story will satisfy!_

Alice began to believe that she would never stop crying. Trying to be brave, she had not wept as she spoke with Gaius in private for the last time. She would see him briefly once more as he guided them out of the castle. The minute she was alone in her hiding place, she had burst onto tears. The ruins of her life were all she had left. She had lost her lover to the terrors of Uther's purge and she would be lucky to escape with her life. Thanks to Gaius. His heroism moved her, even as she knew it had a hand in parting them. She had cried her self into a stupor, and in the darkness, she dreamed.

She dreamed of Arthur as a warrior prince. He carried a magical sword at his side, though he did not know it, and he rode in the sunlight. There was the heavy flap of wings above him, and a dragon circled the young Prince. It seemed to her that he was all unaware: magic surrounded Arthur; it protected him; it kept him in the Light. And amid all this turmoil and action that seemed to engulf the figure of Arthur, there was one who stood beside him in the shadows. Magic.

In that moment, Alice knew that it was crucial that Arthur be unaware of magic as much as possible. The warrior prince in her dreams would not come to be, without this one mercy. The idea of working a spell that would render Arthur oblivious to the presence of magic, took hold of her in the dream.

When she awoke, the thought that possessed her in her dream, became a real possibility. The idea clung to her and it would not be appeased by reason. Her magic would give her no rest. It teased and scrabbled at her, demanding her attention. It demanded she cast the enchantment tonight. Never before had she felt more certain of a plan of action. And yet, she could not stop crying. The tears slipped down her face whether she willed them to or not.

There was a part of her that did not want to do any good for the son of Uther Pendragon. The man had destroyed her life and it was within her means to help or hurt his son. She wondered what would have happened if Arthur had died a few nights ago, and she shuddered. Uther's vengeance would have only tripled in strength. Deep in her heart, she wondered why her magic demanded this from her.

The boy was innocent and beautiful, but he deserved nothing special from her. At least that's what she tried to tell herself.

But as she thought about Joanna and Gaius, quite different feelings began to fill her. They had done nothing but good, in a difficult place, in the shadows. Surely they deserved her faithfulness. There was no other option for her, but mercy. She had to give in to the demands of her magic.

She would render Arthur oblivious to the presence of most magic in his immediate vicinity. She knew Gaius would have surely stopped her. He would cite the dangers to the Prince, never once stopping to consider that that the enchantment might protect him! He might think he was alone in his defense of the magic world. But as a member of the royal household, but he needed some protection. You didn't send a knight into battle without armor, she reasoned.

If Arthur turned away, at the first sense of magic, it might save Gaius. It might save some poor soul, who never meant any harm. But her heart still recoiled a bit when she thought of the danger. Arthur would no longer immediately recognize an attack by magic, making him vulnerable to assassins. Alice told herself that the sole heir of Camelot would be ringed around with protectors until he became a man. Her blessing and its controls could not last that long. Deep in her heart, she knew she equivocated.

If Gaius ever found out that she had set compunctions in the young Prince, he might not forgive her. But sadly, she knew Gaius was lost to her now. She could deal with her guilt later. They had already said their private goodbyes. Her heart was still breaking.

She felt hatred towards Uther, Although she knew it colored her every thought, she was unable to let go of her rage and disdain. She hated Uther, for his hypocrisy, for his cruelty, for the Purge that was ending her dreams of a life with a man she loved. Gaius. Her thoughts of him were tinged with despair, where once they had glowed gold with hope. In spite of everything that had happened, she knew she loved him even more than she had, the day she entered the castle. How could she not love a man who remained in Camelot, hoping to protect the young Prince and to secretly aid those with magic? He was the most unnoticeable of heroes. And so she loved him and everything he valued. That thought led directly back to Arthur.

Anyone could see that Arthur's was a noble soul. He was curious and intelligent and his heart would be warped by the experience of noticing magic, and then seeing that person immediately killed. Even worse would be the toll, if the person who was revealed was Gaius. He could lose his strongest advocate and the only source of kindness in his life. The Purge was no fault of his.

Her magic renewed its insistence on the spell. It must be done, insisted her heart, that thought continued to sing and scrabble at the edges of her thoughts. In the face of all her prior rationalizations and excuses for what she was about to do, was the intense resolve of her magic to complete the enchantment. It had to be accomplished. There was no other option.

Alice recalled again the dreams she had of the boy. Her magic roiled beneath her skin, his image burning bright as a torch in her awareness, demanding her action once more. She put aside her anger. She put aside her fear. Resolve took hold of her will.

A FEW HOURS LATER

It was late in the evening, when Joanna brought the young Prince to the little room in the back of Gaius' chambers. She set down her knapsack, and looked at Alice's small burden of belongings and tried to smile bravely. Joanna slipped into the front room to keep watch and deal with any disturbance, until Gaius arrived. Arthur came with her willingly.

Once they were alone, Alice conjured a flame in her palm and the toddler laughed in delight and impulsively blew it out, like a candle.

"Again," he cried. "Again!"

The boy smiled up at her. He clapped his hands and she conjured it up once more and he blew it out, laughing.

As Alice gazed into his shining blue eyes, his golden hair catching the light, and she was consumed by the feeling that this boy, this child, was as different from Uther, as day was to night. He fairly glowed with some subtle magic himself, and it was clear, even at his young age, that he drew every eye. She wondered about the consequences of his magical birth and how that knowledge would affect him. In her dreams, she had glimpsed a furling red cape and the shadow of sorcerous gold and dragons surrounding the warrior, Arthur would become. She wondered if they would ever meet again.

With her heart in her mouth, she smiled none the less, as she placed her hands on Arthur's head.

"Aetyne be min aebebod!"

He squirmed, just a bit, as he felt the power of her mind overtake his thoughts, and he went limp. His eyes rolled back into his head. She caught him quickly, lifting him and cradling him in her arms. She set the controls quickly, settling them into his unconscious mind.

"Be safe, now Arthur. Do thou look away at every hint of magic, never noticing, never seeing, never noting it's presence in your daily life. Deny it's presence at every turn, until the day …Here she faltered, for her magic was fairly shouting at her to add the last words, and although she had never intended to say them, they issued forth as part of her enchantment, "… until the day Emrys reveals himself."

Alice had no idea what that may have meant, nor who Emrys might be, but she knew it was a sending of the future, a kind of prophecy.

"May the blessings of the Light be upon you, Arthur Pendragon, and keep you safe."

With her words, magic began to flow through her. She felt it swirl and eddy through her body, and felt it enter into Arthur as well. It wrapped them both in a gentle light. Blessing them both. Like the gentlest of rains it fell on them, it rose up out of them like water surrendering in itself into air. It settled like water into the tiniest of openings, softening and soothing her heart, strengthening the child. Arthur yawned and settled into a natural sleep, a little smile on his face, rubbing at his eyes and nose before he sighed once more. Alice took a shaky breath and smiled.

"Gaius will be here any moment, my lady," said Joanna quietly, as Alice opened her eyes. "I guess… I guess it's time to say goodbye. I'm so glad he's asleep."

They both looked down at the sleeping toddler.

"Please, my lady, said Joanna shyly, "let me hold him, one last time." As she took Arthur into her arms, she turned away from Alice. She was rocked the boy for a few moments, leaning her head against his as she moved. The healer felt tears spring to her eyes again, as she watched the child slowly twine his hand in Joanna's long brown hair as he slept. After a long moment, she kissed him very gently and then lay him down in the small bed that had been set up for this very night.

After this, Arthur would have his own chamber and a squire at his call, outside the door.

"I will think of my prince every day," Joanna said softly. "He won't even remember my name." Alice gave the slender young woman a hug.

"He may not remember your name, and he may not remember the time you had together, but he won't forget it either," counseled Alice. "You have taught him many wonderful things. You taught him how to control himself, as much as any two year old possibly can." Joanna laughed, even as she wiped her tears away.

"You have taught him compassion. You have taught him to listen to those who love him. These things will never leave him, Joanna. Those are the things that will make him a great King someday. That is your legacy."

"When he is King…" whispered Joanna. Her eyes were glowing, bright with tears. "My Arthur!"

As Alice wiped tears from her eyes as well, she felt Gaius slip into the room. He step was so quiet that she did not hear him. The room hung in the silence. Just as silently, her lover took her hood and arranged it, obscuring her face as much as possible. Alice took Gaius' hand, for one last time, as they turned to walk away.

A young squire, with reddish curly hair, was left to watch over the sleeping Prince until Gaius' return. Alice and Gaius did their best to smile at each other while their hearts were breaking, treasuring each last moment. Joanna smiled, although she wiped the tears from her eyes, as well.

Beginning a new road, into the future, Alice was at peace. Mercy buoyed her heart. Her old life dropped away with every step, but she was not afraid.

FIN

The quality of mercy is not strained.

It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven

Upon the place beneath. It is twice blessed:

It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.

'Tis mightiest in the mightiest. It becomes

The thronèd monarch better than his crown.

William Shakespeare

The Merchant of Venice


End file.
